I hope you can hear the whispers amidst all these silence

A whole lot of disappointment.

(Even though you bite, poke and tickle me at the most random places)

Thank you for every little thing.

Undeniably, that wall of trust that was building up collasped in one severe blow.

Sometimes, everything can be so fragile.

This look-back leaves a blatant aftertaste in my mouth.
It gets stuck in my throat, and runs down so unsmoothly.

Now, i wonder if you feel the same.

Maybe if this was one of those times, where a few words could magically summarise the unwordables felt, it wouldn't be this difficult.

Sunlight shines shadow stays silently.

How does it feel like to be turned on
How does it feel like to be lied to
How does it feel like to be lied to
How does it feel like to be lied to
How does it feel like to be cut by the own shards of your red
How does it feel like to be me

Metamorphosis

Oh, this glaring stare of change. What lasts and what doesn't? These vague passing bys resembles those melodious tunes they strum on their fancy guitars.. Sometimes its cheery, other times it kills a part of you. Now, won't you light that stick of not-so-gloomy, and lighten up?

This metamorphosis of the state of the mind just isn't a game i would play.

Now, hop on, cos we'll move on without you anyway.

The biggest downfall of life is perhaps the humane nitpicking of the simplest, smallest imperfections at the dark, squeaky, unnoticed (yet noticed) corner of life. This whirlwinds life into an emotional black hole some sort, making life illusionally unbearable.

I guess everyone is an emotional wreck somehow, somewhere. The deepest of all scars are scars that are invisible to the physical eye. It is surreal, and hides from those who look, but does not feel.

Time is but a pathetic failure of an excuse.

Impermanence

Everything passes by.

Alaska

It has been awhile.

The halcyon days

Constant Change

Time passes at an amazing rate, before the eyes of all human beings. Time, master of the art of surrealism, cleaving through the death of life of each and everyone of us. Its scary, yet comforting in a weirdly morbid sense.

Yes strong randomness. No no emo.

There was a girl who sat next to me in primary school, one of my best friends back when i had a little over a decade of polluted breath. We used to hang out all time, our group of 6 - the little musketeers of 6D! The growing up years in secondary school however meant that contacts with her faded into a chapter of the past. Through the play of sheer chance, (long story short) i got into a MSN convo with her and a few my primary school mates. Alas! I thought, finally a reunion to see how much everyone have grown. What appeared in the grey window shook the fuck out of me:-

MRS [insert name here] - Going to be a mother in august says:
[insert text here]

CHEEBYE! She's giving birth in august, at the age of 20 - and she was married at the age of 19. I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST SHOTGUN MARRIAGES (please don't sue me), but when it happens to someone around you it shakes you somehow. I mean, this little girl with that yellow hairband who sat next to me in class IS GIVING BIRTH! She has all my blessings, of course - but it made me jump off my chair a bit.

Another girl i know was my secondary school classmate who sat behind me (yes strong many girls around me in class). She was a strong christian and everything, you know, always the one who was there to fill me in on christianity stuff, and the right things to do in the wrong situations. She was also the suay girl who had to be behind me, which meant that she had to bare with my "borrow foolscape", and occasional zhao xia singing out of boredom voice. That aside, i was reading her blog and.. NARBEI she had an entry about how she lost her V card (please don't kill me if you see this). Now, everyone knows i'm not an advocator of sex-is-bad-it-makes-your-nipples-disappear-theory, but that coming from a (one of the strongest) christian girls that i know surprised me. She was the one who muttered "amen" when i said the f word. She was the one who wanted to explain the verses in the bible to me.

I think its amazing and unpredictable, how thoughts change and evolve over a period of time. Thoughts are so volatile, sometimes its hard to say that you know someone, or even yourself. Afterall, the only thing constant about life, is change.

I'm shocked, and i'm 20 (now thats fucking fast).

shen mo???