This is one of those days when you feel like shit, and you don't even know why.

Every night, before i go to sleep, i think about the prospects of life, of how everything has turned out. In a way, i'm glad that things have turned out the way it is, soured - because sad as it is, everytime i have a confrontation with my own emotions, i learn something new about myself. The road of self discovery is like a pilgrimage for nirvana. More often than now, i find myself in a turmoil of mixed emotions - awed, disappointed, happy and sad, all at the same time. I'm always wondering if the next step towards the front is actually taking me two steps backwards. All the thoughts congested in my mind just doesn't make sense. All the stars in the sky suddenly feels feebly ornamental. All the rights seem wrong, and vice versa.

I hate being ambiguous as i am now.

Ambiguousity might just be the most harmful thing at the moment.